.:.

The line is blurred..
My soul so black it burns..
Yet into the fire I walk....

....

The 'after holiday' party news had of course traveled all over the city. News always got around especially something this big. It hadn't taken much to convince the young Russian male into going to the party, just for strange kicks. But him talking his sister into such a thing proved much harder. He'd failed. Lamia did have a point such social gatherings were a bit much for her. Besides the fact that her furries presence often gave her unwelcome looks and words. Criss was still growly about the man who had been so rude to his sister. It was a good thing that he didn't know who this man was, or else he'd have a few words with him. Harsh curse in Russian, that wouldn't be it. But he didn't know, that was best for now likely.

After a little convincing from Lamia that he should go even if he kind of wanted to Criss had decided to go on. If anything it would provide some amusement and maybe even a chance to question of any jobs in the city. Or a reason he hadn't yet told to Lamia, a chance to maybe finally find out the name of the 'surfer girl' she always saw with Kaze and Damien. He didn't stand a chance with her, he had long accepted that fact. But still it wouldn't hurt to at least know her name. It wouldn't be hard to find out, she was popular enough. Even then he could just make a few new friends perhaps. Hang out do what 'normal' people do. Fun perhaps. Getting out of the apartment so he didn't go postal was good too. Even if it meant leaving Lamia at times.

After taking a quick shower he walked to the den where Lamia sat curled on the couch. His black denim jeans hung around his waist, as water dripped down his chest. Yet another failed attempt of trying to talk his sister into coming with. He finished getting dressed. Donning his jewelry, silvers mostly and the handcuff belt he adored. Out of respect of those around him he wore a black muscle shirt. Or else he'd have worn his preferred button, gapping open, with the sleeves cut off. But he should at least try to fit on occasion. "I'll be back lil sis." He promised as he grabbed his keys and jacket walking out the door. She smiled and told him to have fun, before he closed the door behind him.

....

Criss put on his jacket as walked to his bike. An orange and black '86 Honda Hawk GT. His helmet was strapped there to the seat he didn't bother with it. He wanted to feel the wind in his hair. A typical male, a boy with his toy. The bike was in mint condition despite it's age. Not a scratch on the paint or chrome. With keys in hand he stuck them into the ignition and revved the motorcycle to life. He smile was spread across his face as he listened to the purr of the engine. Criss had had the bike since he was twenty-two. But only within the last few months had he restored it enough to be ride-able. He hadn't had the energy or desire to before with so many other things, such as Lamia, on his mind. But not the time had been there and the money needed for such availiable. So one again, the bike was restored to a condition, as good if not better than it had been when he had gotten it almost five years ago.

He zoomed towards the Evan's house whispering in Russian. His lips hardly moved as he spoke the words to the poem his sister had written an put to music those many years ago. As for the two behind this party, he at least knew 'of' them. Kaze and Damien. But little else, other than that they were two of the boys fawning after the pretty brunette, surfer girl who's name he didn't know. He only knew her face. And was far from willing to admit even to himself that he might have had a bit of a crush on her. That aside, if she was there fine, if not it could still be interesting to mingle with the other locals. Being a loner wasn't always fun. His loner ways had gotten him into trouble as a teenager, and he wasn't looking for a repeat any time soon. More like ever.

Coming stop with hardly a squeak of the tires, he put one foot down balancing himself there for the moment. Running his fingers through his, once again, red streaked hair tussling it back into it's place as he looked at the house. Directions to the place were everywhere, and everyone was talking about it. He knew this must be the house, as already the sounds of a party underway were heard. He sighed, hoping his strange seeking, just a bit of normality wouldn't bite him in the ass later. Reaching the house he sighed and looked around at the sea of face he didn't know. He muttered something under his breath in Russian, along the lines of 'What am I thinking' Laced likely enough with a curse word or two that he have never translated if asked.

Lingering unseen for a moment he watched looking for any face he knew. Kaze and Damien were some where, even then he knew their faces but not who was who. He thought the cocky funny one was Kaze. Damien, was the more serious one. But he could have been wrong. Wouldn't have been the first time and he knew too it wouldn't likely be the last.

Finally parking his bike, hiding it away between nearby garage and a fence. he walked the last few feet to the house. Sighing wondering what he was in store for at his first social gathering within Maui.

But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
_____________________________________

Maybe she should just leave? There was no point in being here if Noelle wasn't even going to go inside. She would just be sitting out here on the curb like a lonely puppy waiting for someone to come and take it home. Man, that was a really depressing image, and one she didn't want to think about anymore. It reminded her of those animal shelter commercials that always broke her heart whenever she saw them. There had been a few times when she gave in and went to the animal shelter to try and find a pet, but at the door had second thoughts and wondered if she or Will would have time to take care of it. One day she would get a puppy, an adorable little golden retriever, she just had to wait for that right time to come before she did.

Noelle was going to stand up, any second now. She just had to get the energy. No...it wasn't there. Her whole body felt numb again. The young woman unclasped her fingers and ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back and out of her face. Someone walked by from work, smiling brightly and offering Noelle a friendly hello. She forced a smile and waved back, then dropped her eyes to the pavement as they walked by her and went up to the house. If she just stayed here Kaze was sure to find her eventually, and now that she had time to think about it Noelle wasn't sure she was able to face him yet. Just looking at her would bring back all of the pain she had felt when she sobbed on Jethro's porch that morning. The girl wanted to be with Kaze so badly, but in all honesty she was afraid; terrified in fact. She was scared that one day he would get bored and leave her, and she would be left there alone and heartbroken. It had happened before. It was why she felt so alone. And now, adding this whole Jethro thing on top of it, Noelle felt like he would be ashamed of her.

Suddenly feeling a surge of energy, the young woman was just about to get up and walk back to her own home when she heard Kaze's familiar voice behind her. 'The party is inside, silly.' His voice was so calm and sweet, but at the same time it made her muscles tighten knowing that she couldn't leave now. Even though he was standing behind her and she couldn't see him, Noelle still felt so exposed, like he could see right through her. All over again the girl felt like a cheap whore who had let false emotions cloud her better judgment. She also kept thinking of how furious her brother would be if he found out, not so much with her as with Jethro. He and Jethro were good friends, but that would send him through the roof. Will would want to kill him - if she knew her brother as well as she thought she did, anyway.

'Come on, it’s not so bad.' Out of the corner of her eye, Noelle could see Kaze's hand extend for her to take. She turned to it, almost taking it and letting him help her up but then having second thoughts. Whether she went inside or whether she stayed out here he would still know that something was wrong, and he would still ask her. She would rather stay out here where no one else could hear if Noelle ended up telling him. Considering how she felt right now, the girl figured she would end up having to tell him. Her emotions were all over the place, and she wouldn't be able to level them out until she fessed up to her mistake. To make matters worse, it was that time of the months again, so her hormones were already all over the place. It was a good thing though, she supposed, it meant she wasn't pregnant.

Shaking her head, Noelle declined taking his hand and turned away again, saying a soft, "No thanks" and staring down at the gravel once again. Kaze was such a great guy. He would stay with her and try to comfort her, all the while unknowingly making her feel even worse about herself. She wished so badly that she could just abandon this heartache, maybe replace it with anger. It would feel so good to be angry with Jethro, but how could she be when she was at equal fault? Neither of them had stopped, or even let a thought pass about what the right thing to do would. Noelle's eyes welled up the more she thought about it, and before Kaze could see the tears she quickly wiped them away with her hand and tried to sniff them away. How much of a baby was she for getting worked up over this? Again, other people hooked up just for the heck of it. If they could do it without having so much guilt, why couldn't she?

`Status: Finished
`Tag: Kazems ^-^
`Word Count: 860
`Lyrics By: Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
`Notes: Avatars by the lovely Cara <33

J E T H R O C O H E N
We could keep on keeping our distance
Spend our whole lives wishing when it's
Easier to get forgiveness than permission

It had taken Jethro a lot longer to get to Kaze's place then he anticipated and that was including the run to East Maui for Sarah. No, this time his lateness was Kyle's fault, ironically enough. It wasn't a casual "oh hey, haven't seen you in a while, sorry I gotta be somewhere" bump into the person. No, the idiot flagged him down purposely! What for? Who else but Sarah. He started to think he was her keeper now or something. Well at any rate, he made it home in enough time to change quickly and hop back in the car to drive another two blocks toward Kaze's place. He didn't know Kaze very well, no more than what Noelle told him. He seemed like a good guy, which was exactly why he wanted to try and get Noelle to talk to him, before she talked to Kaze. He really didn't want his reputation as a good guy ruined over a mistake and he didn't want Noelle to be seen as another Sarah, although she's no where near close to that. Chances are Noelle wouldn't be blamed for it and he would be okay with that.

Jethro ended up parking around the corner from Kaze's place and thinking it would have been easier to have just walked since he was halfway back home anyway. Turning around to go home then walk back would be a waste of time and gas so Jethro shut off the ignition and climbed out of the Porsche. He locked the car, waiting for the lights to flash and two beeps guaranteeing his car was safe. In his polo shirt and slacks, Jethro walked down the block where the line of cars and SUVs pointed somewhat slowly. He did want to see Noelle, assuming she even bothered coming, but at the same time had no clue what he would say to her. He was actually expecting her to avoid him so he didn't have to say anything at all, but knew that it wouldn't help the matter. They did have consensual sex and yes there is regret on both ends, but it didn't make it go away.

Twirling his keys around his index finger, Jethro tried to carry a tune through whistling but was too nervous to get his lips moistened enough. He ended up walking in silence toward the party where it was a lot louder. After passing by a house with shrubs overgrown onto the sidewalk, Jethro was in clear shot of Kaze's place but his walk wouldn't be as direct. He noticed the sidewalk was being blocked by something, looked like a person do him. Well he could just cut across the grass and hope he didn't have a phobia with people walking on the grass like some of the people did in his neighborhood. Stuffing his car keys into his pockets, Jethro kept his hands inside them while he stepped of the concrete onto the softer grass and began heading in the direction of the front steps, but something stopped him and caused him to turn back toward the sidewalk.

Their backs were to him, but he noticed a feminine figure sitting on the curb the one standing, blocking the sidewalk, was male. He stared like a moron for a few minutes, trying to drown out the noise of the party to hear what the two were talking about and ended up inching closer in time for Noelle to turn away from Kaze's extended hand. His stomach lurched at her tone even though he couldn't hear exactly what she had said, the way she said it said it all. Removing a hand from his pocket, Jethro ran it nervously through his short curly hair, turning again toward the house having a moment of weakness. Maybe he should grab a beer or something first just to take the edge off. No, then he might not be able to stop and things would end up going all wrong. He saw that movie before and the end never came out well.

"Suck it up." He grumbled to himself, wishing he had half the balls Sarah did. It wasn't his fault he was raised the way he was. Scratching the back of his head he took a step forward, then another, then another until he was off the grass and back on the sidewalk. Maybe he should run around the back of the house and approach casually from the sidewalk instead of sneak attack from behind. Backing up onto the grass, Jethro moved at an angle away from Noelle and Kaze, careful to keep out of their line of vision then forward to the sidewalk where he could pretend he had been coming up the sidewalk the whole time. His hands returned to their pockets and he began to walk, looking around as if Kekaa Drive was the most fascinating thing, then with a little bit over kill, stepped up to Noelle and Kaze. "Oh, hey! Kaze I assume?" He squinted as if he was trying to put the name with the face, a face he never saw before now. "I'm Jethro Cohen." Then he smiled, hiding his trembling knees and extended his hand in greeting. His eyes traveled down to Noelle on the curb, her back to him still. "Noelle's told me a lot of great things about you." That's it play the suck-up card, it's all he had to work with.

TAG ` kaze & noelle
STATUS ` completed
WORD COUNT ` 940
LYRICS ` forgiveness and permission - rodney atkins
AVATARS ` livejournal, I think.

I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting
_____________________________________

A knot formed in her throat after Noelle refused taking Kaze's hand. She felt bad for being such a downer but she couldn't help it no matter how badly she wanted to. If there was a way that Noelle wouldn't feeling like a guilty slut then she would do whatever it took but, she just didn't know what way that was. Then Kaze, being the amazing and wonderful guy he was, made her feel worse when he knelt down next to her and asked her what was wrong. It wasn't in that typical guy "just asking to say that I did" way either, from his tone of voice Noelle could tell that he genuinely cared to know so her could help. Now, if she could just bring herself to tell him. She had come all the way here to do just that, but managed to chicken out after discovering that there were many other people here. That didn't mean she could get the courage back though. All she had to do was open her mouth and say it.

"Nothing, it's stupid." Oh yeah, great start. That was completely the opposite of what she had meant to say. When he nudged her arm lightly, Noelle managed to give a weak smile before it disappeared again and he continued to pry in that worried Kaze way. He offered her some of his Coke, but the young woman refused again. Not because she was afraid of germs, but she wasn't thirsty, nor was she much of a fan of soda. After she learned what that stuff did to you she never really drank if again, at least not often. "Thank you, anyway." Even in her depression, she could still manage to be polite, right? Noelle hated it when people became both saddened and rude, because then you didn't want to help them even if they wanted help. She wanted help, she wanted this empty hole in her heart to go away, or be filled by...something.

Then Kaze stood. She didn't know why at first, and didn't turn around to look and find out. She just remained with her eyes fixated on a spot in the road. Until, that is, she heard Jethro's voice behind her asking if Kaze was, well, Kaze. Her muscles remained still, save for her gaze, which rose upward in surprise. Why did he come over? What did he want? Probably to talk, when she thought about it. But, Noelle didn't want to talk. Talking brought back memories and she didn't want to remember. She wanted it all to go away and leave her be. Noelle wanted to forget how greedy and selfish she felt when Jethro had her pressed against the wall. She also wanted to forget that feeling of ecstasy that they had shared in that one pinnacle moment in the early hours of the morning before the sun had peaked up above the horizon. She wanted everything to go back to the way it had been before that night.

The two men chatted just over her shoulder, and her Jethro's voice made her pulse rise nervously. Why did he have to come over?! Why couldn't he just let sleeping dogs lie? Taking a silent breath, Noelle placed her hands on the cement of the sidewalk and pushed herself to her feet slowly. Maybe if they left Jethro wouldn't follow, and she could gather the courage all over again that she had had before and tell Kaze what, in her opinion, he should know. The girl turned, finding that she was standing just behind Kaze's right shoulder. She took a step closer to him and gently took his arm right above where it bent at the elbow. Speaking quietly into his ear, she asked, "Is there somewhere we could talk privately?" Her eyes shifted to meet Jethro's, wishing that they could be filled with anger toward him but knowing that she held just as much blame as he did. All the same, the expression in her eyes was a sure sign that she did not want to talk to Jethro right now.

`Status: Finished
`Tag: Kaze and Jethro
`Word Count: 704
`Lyrics By: Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
`Notes: Avatars by the lovely Cara <33
Sorry for the wait